I was hanging out at the local youth centre with my schoolmates when I noticed Carl looking at me.
"Yuk,what a greebo" I thought,wrinkling my nose up at the 20-year-old biker.
Crash helmet dangling from his hand,he sauntered over and started chatting me up.
But something about his eyes,his smile,caught my attention.
Soon we were deep in conversation,and when he asked me out I said yes immediately.
The next night when we went on our first date,Carl turned up in his car.
He looked completely different without his biker's leathers on,nicer,gentler.
We went to a pub and after that night we both knew we had something special.
Mum didn't really approve of the biker who had stolen her daughter's heart,but she kept her fears to herself.
And the more she met him the more she softened - Carl was so easy-going it was hard not to like him.
We were head over heels in love.Our relationship quickly developed,and after dating him for nearly two months I suspected I was pregnant.
I was just 15 and I panicked.
I told myself I couldn't be pregnant,and in my muddled logic,I convinced myself that as long as no-one knew but me,the baby growing inside me wasn't real.
My mother worked at the doctor's surgery,so I put off going because she would find out immediately.But when I was six months pregnant she guessed.
When I told Carl the news,he reacted in exactly the way I had expected."I'll be with you every step of the way - don't worry" he said,taking me in his arms and holding me.
We were pleased at the prospect of having a child together,but we knew it would be hard work.
I turned sixteen at the end of October,and we married on Bonfire Night,1983,in a register office.
It may not have been the full white wedding of a teenager's dreams,but I was so happy I didn't care.
"They'll never stay together" people muttered behind our backs.Even my family had their reservations deep down.
"Don't rush into anything,there's time to change your mind if you want to" they said.But I refused to listen.I knew our love would last forever,this was no teenage crush.
On February 9,1984,Kerry-Anne was born.A beautiful,healthy girl who made us into a family.Karl was so excited he could barely contain himself.
Just as he had promised,he was there with me every step of the way,yelling encouragement.
We saved hard and seven months later moved out of my parents' house,where my two brothers also stayed,and into a place of our own.
We were so excited,planning how we would decorate each room.Carl's dad was a painter and decorator so soon we had the place looking really good.
As the years passed,Carl and I grew closer together.We proved all the doubters and cynics wrong.
He was my best friend.We never argued,and we were both honest with each other,no matter what.If there was something to say,we'd say it,get it out of the way,and then get on with life.
Carl was so laid back that he calmed my normally excitable nature down.We complemented each other perfectly.
Our family grew with the birth of Sam on August 14,1986,and Joshua on October 4,1989.
Karl was with me again,and after every child he would say "I'm never putting you through that again!" He hated seeing me in such pain.
In 1992 we spotted a near-derelict bungalow in Brightlingsea,Essex,where we had both always lived,and moved in.There was lots of work to be done,but it would be transformed into our dream home.
When he wasn't busy at work as a boat repairer for local firm White Formula,or working on the house,Carl would spend hours making toys from wood for the children.
The boys usually wanted guns and swords,but Kerry-Anne had just been given beautiful dolls house.She wanted to collect the tiny replica furniture available in specialist shops.
There was never any peace in the house.Sam and Josh would play with their friends from up the road,running round shouting.Sam loved adventure and mischief.He liked to sit in the tree at the bottom of the garden,peering through his binoculars to see what was going on.
During the summer holidays he liked to fish in a pond down the road.Carl would often get called to untangle the line from a tree which had got in the way as he was trying to cast.
Kerry-Anne spent hours in her room listening to music.And Carl would do the gardening with his radio on full blast.It was chaos,but I loved it.It was bliss.
I ran round after the family,making the beds,tidying,cooking,cleaning.
I complained sometimes about the amount of work everyone created for me,but I never really minded.I liked looking after everyone,it was what I did best.
Even rivalry over football teams was friendly.Carl was a Chelsea supporter,Sam loved Newcastle,and Josh was Arsenal-crazy.When a match came on television the boys would gather round the set with their dad and scream for their team.
We were a close-knit family,always doing things together.We'd go to Colchester for long walks,visit zoos,or wander along Walton beach and find sharks' teeth...the usual family trips.
In a bid to get the house finished once and for all we decided not to go on a holiday that year.But to stop the kids from missing out out we would go on lots of day trips instead.
Carl had a week off work just before the children had to return to school,and the family decided one of the places they wanted to visit was Great Yarmouth.
The night before,I ran round making enough sandwiches to feed an army and got everything ready for our trip.I had to be even more organised than usual because Benjamin Eeles,the nine-month-old baby I minded,was also coming with us.The kids were really excited because they loved the seaside.We had spent many happy caravan holidays and days out at the resort.
It was Thursday,September 3,1998,and we had a great day out.The kids loved going into the arcades,filled with noise,flashing lights,and games.
As the sun shone down it seemed like a perfect family day out.Carl and I wandered down the street holding hands,as always,like a pair of teenagers.
"Do you have to,mum?" Kerry-Anne groaned."It's so embarrassing!"
But before she complain any more we arrived at the fun fair,where Carl and I could be left in peace to canoodle as much as we wanted.Although it was going to be our 15th wedding anniversary in November,we were as much in love as ever.
By the time we had been dragged round the clothes shops we were exhausted.Kerry-Anne bought an Adidas shirt,Sam some combat trousers,and Josh a Star Wars battle cruiser.Everyone was happy.It was time to head home.
The radio was playing softly in the background as everyone chatted about what a great day it had been.The traffic was quite heavy but moving well,despite one lane of the dual carriageway on the A12 being coned off.
I was sorting the money out,my head down as I scrutinised the contents of my purse.
"We'll have to go to the bank in the morning or we won't have any money left for the weekend!" I said.
Suddenly Carl cried out.I looked up as a coach which had crossed the central reservation roared towards us and smashed through our Ford Sierra.
The sound of glass shattering and metal crunching was deafening.The whole of the driver's side of the car was ripped away as we spun round.The car rocked violently to the left,then to the right before landing upright.
The car had come to rest on a triangular piece of grass on the roadside.There was complete silence.Seconds stretched into eternity,and I felt strangely calm.Everything was peaceful and still and quiet,as though I was in a film being shown in slow motion.
Then I realised what had happened,knew instinctively that my children were dead.I shouldn't be sitting here calmly,I should be doing something!
I looked across at Carl,and hysteria took hold of me.Taking his hand in mine I screamed,cried and raged at what had happened to him.There was no doubt he was dead,but I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye.I had no control over myself,or my emotions,I just let them tear through me.
I turned and saw what had happened to Kerry-Anne and Sam.The sight has lived with me every day since,but I don't think I will ever be able to put it into words.
The scene was too horrific to imagine,my children's fate too private to share with anyone.
Craning round,I could see Ben turning blue in the back of the car,but I was trapped.Unable to save him,I screamed for someone to help.There was no sign of Josh.
People ran up to the car,but the carnage inside was so bad that they fled,unable to cope with what they had seen.
"Get Ben out! For God's sake someone help! Help us!" I screamed again and again.
Nurses arrived on the scene,but in my muddled state it never occurred to me to wonder how they could have arrived so quickly.They had been picked up from Ipswich Hospital and were travelling on the coach to Great Yarmouth Hospital.My saviours had been on the coach which destroyed my family.
The door was prised open and I was helped out.Apart from a few cuts and bruises,I was unhurt.People said it was a miracle,as though I should be grateful for surviving.But I didn't feel grateful.
At the hospital I waited to be attended to.Suddenly a scream rent the air and I looked up in shock.
Joshua! He was alive!
"Let me see my son.Is that him...it must be him!" I demanded.The nurses barred my way as I tried to fight past them.
"Please,we can't tell you anything about other patients until we can confirm who they are" a nurse told me gently but firmly.
I was going out of my mind listening to the pitiful sobs and cries coming from Josh,and had to be led away to a private room.
When I was reunited with him,I feared he was going to be taken away from me,too.
Josh's injuries were awful.He suffered broken ribs,a ruptured spleen and pancreas,his pelvis was broken in three places,and his thigh bone smashed.
He was in traction for five weeks and his stomach stopped working for a time because of the internal injuries,but luckily he pulled through.
As we spun round,he had been thrown through the gaping hole in the car's side.It had been what saved him.
Little Ben had also survived.He almost died in the ambulance,but the paramedics had fought to revive him.
The following day when I visited Josh in hospital,I tried to tell him about the others.
But how do you tell a nine-year-old boy that his family is virtually gone?
In the end I just told him the simple truth.
"Do you remember the car accident yesterday?" I asked gently.He shook his head,confused.
Oh God,this is going to be even harder than I imagined,I thought,praying for strength.
Taking a deep breath,I went on "Well...we were in a very bad car crash...
"Daddy's died,and so have Kerry-Anne and Sam."
He didn't say a word,he didn't cry.He just looked at me with dead eyes.I wasn't sure if he'd understood what I had told him.
I worried I would have to repeat the news.But he knew.As the drugs wore off and the pain kicked in,he cried and cried for his daddy,knowing that daddy would never again hold him in his strong arms and comfort him.
I was barely functioning.Looking back,I can't remember chunks of what happened during that period.I was on auto pilot,the lights were on,but I wasn't at home.
I stayed by my son's side the whole time,even sleeping with him.He had six drips in him at any one time - they couldn't have fitted any more on him if they had tried.His veins kept breaking down,and he was in constant pain.
Staring down at my precious little boy all I could think was "It should be me lying there,taking the pain for him".
But more often,I would ask myself why I had survived when two of my babies were dead.If I could have swapped places with one of them,bring one back to life,I wouldn't have hesitated for even a second.
These thoughts were always in my head.I know that if Josh had been at home with me instead of in hospital,I'd have done something silly to us both.
I just wanted us all to be back together again.I didn't know how to live without my family.
When we arrived home,the place seem so empty.There was no music blaring,no shouting,no Play Station going.Everything was as we had left it that happy summer day.
Now,when I get up in the morning,there is no fight to get to the bathroom.Kerry-Ann used to get up at 6.30am for school,and hog the bathroom as she washed and styled her hair.
She was a very popular girl.Her mates still come round to see how I am,and her boyfriend Mark,who she was with for nine months,comes round for tea once a week.
They were both only 14,but it was more than puppy love.It's easy to under-estimate the feelings young teenagers have for one another,but I know what it's like because of what happened between me and Carl.
I still can't cry for my loved ones.Even at the funeral,no tears would come.
I'm scared that if I break down and cry I'll never stop.What if I never get control of myself again? I have to get on with life for Josh's sake.
At first I tried to be his father,brother and sister,as well as his mother,but now I know it's useless.
I can't play games like Sam did.I can't mother him in that special big sisterly way Kerry-Anne had.And I can't carve toys,fix cars,or even comfort him in the same way Carl did.
Instead I just have to be mum,as best I can.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them.
The coroner recorded a verdict of accidental death at the inquest.
But although I felt sorry for the 23-year-old driver of the coach at first,now I feel angry.
Whether he meant to or not,my family has been destroyed.Somehow I have to pick up the pieces and carry on,and every day is hard.It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.